Discription
Yoga Hosers (2016)
Summary:
Yoga Hosers is a surreal, comedic horror film—the second installment in director Kevin Smith's True North Trilogy (following Tusk). The movie centers on two 15-year-old convenience store clerks and yoga fanatics, both named Colleen, who must team up with a legendary man-hunter to fight a supernatural, neo-Nazi evil that threatens their attendance at a senior party. The film is noted for its highly absurd plot, constant Canadian stereotypes, and casting of the director's and lead actor's daughters in the starring roles.
Plot:
The film takes place in Winnipeg, Manitoba, focusing on Colleen Collette (Lily-Rose Depp) and Colleen McKenzie (Harley Quinn Smith), two inseparable best friends and yoga enthusiasts who work part-time at the Eh-2-Zed convenience store. They are obsessed with their cell phones and band, Glamthrax. The girls are thrilled when they are invited to a party by a popular senior, Hunter Calloway (Austin Butler).
When Colleen C.'s father leaves them to run the store on the night of the party, the girls decide to bring the party to the store. Hunter and his friend arrive, but they are revealed to be Satanists who plan to sacrifice the girls. Before the ritual can begin, they are attacked by the Bratzis—small, one-foot-tall Nazi clones made of bratwurst sausage meat. The Colleens use their yoga expertise to defeat the Bratzis, but are later arrested for the murder of the boys.
Legendary Quebecois detective Guy LaPointe (Johnny Depp), who previously encountered the girls, arrives to interrogate them. He believes their unbelievable story and helps them escape. LaPointe and the Colleens track the evil to an underground lair beneath the convenience store, where they discover the Bratzis' master: Andronicus Arcane (Ralph Garman), a Canadian Nazi and former ridiculed art critic who has been cryogenically frozen since World War II.
Arcane plans to use his army of Bratzis, made of human flesh and his own DNA, to conquer the continent and, specifically, kill all art critics as revenge for those who mocked his early work. He controls a towering creature called the Goalie Golem, made of the body parts of his victims. The girls and LaPointe battle the Golem and the Bratzis, with the Colleens using a powerful "Warrior Pose" and a yoga-based move to defeat the Golem, and Arcane is ultimately killed by his own creation. The Colleens clear their names and resume their normal (though now monster-fighting) lives.
Cast:
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Lily-Rose Depp as Colleen Collette
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Harley Quinn Smith as Colleen McKenzie
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Johnny Depp as Guy LaPointe
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Kevin Smith as The Bratzis
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Justin Long as Yogi Bayer
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Austin Butler as Hunter Calloway
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Vanessa Paradis as Ms. Maurice
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Haley Joel Osment as Adrien Arcand
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Ralph Garman as Andronicus Arcane / Old Man Arcane
Crew:
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Writer and Director: Kevin Smith
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Producers: Liz Destro, Jordan Monsanto, and Jennifer Schwalbach Smith
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Music by: Christopher Drake
Release Date:
September 2, 2016 (United States - Limited Release)
January 24, 2016 (Sundance Film Festival - World Premiere)
